


the things the couch has seen

by ilokheimsins



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Couch Sex, M/M, friends walk in on friends, there is discussion of life choices
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-12
Updated: 2015-10-12
Packaged: 2018-04-26 03:08:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4987762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilokheimsins/pseuds/ilokheimsins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Prompt for Eggsy’s friends Ryan and Jamal to be at a pub, talking about Eggsy and his new boyfriend Harry. Not against the relationship, but discussing the usual issues – the age difference, how Harry knew Lee through work, Michelle’s dislike of Harry, their social status differences, etc. They go back to the apartment the three share to find Harry and Eggsy having sex on the couch and Eggsy is a complete sobbing, orgasmic mess, while Harry just fucks the hell out of him."</p><p> </p><p>  <a href="http://hartwinprompts.tumblr.com/post/130682263530/prompt-for-eggsys-friends-ryan-and-jamal-to-be-at">Link to prompt here</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	the things the couch has seen

**Author's Note:**

> I'm dying from midterms and assignments and interviews and I can't think about anything more plotty than a drabble rn. So here we is.

“Man, it’s still a little weird, innit,” Ryan says while waving for another pint.

Jamal groans and slides a hand down his face.  Ryan brings this topic up every time Eggsy ditches them for his posh boyfriend and it’s getting a bit old hat to be honest.

“Look, mate, Eggsy loves poshie like the sun fuckin’ rises and sets wiv him,” Jamal sighs.

“Nah, not complainin’ ‘bout Haz or nothin’,” Ryan says quickly.  “Just, think about it, yeah?  It’s kinda weird to be getting’ down with someone older than yer dad, innit.”

“He is kinda old,” Jamal admits.

“Yeah, and like, how he keepin’ up with Eggsy between the sheets, y’know?” Ryan nods enthusiastically.  Eggsy’s their mate; they have to make sure he’s getting good romps in bed.

Jamal waves him off and stirs his finger through the head on their new pints.  He shrugs, “Dunno, maybe he can keep goin’ longer or sommat.”

“Maybe,” Ryan says.  Their large order of chips with cheese arrives, steaming still, and they dig in, topic momentarily forgotten.

“An’ there’s, like, what if Haz is playin’ with Eggsy?  Cause he’s so fuckin’ posh, he prolly crooks a finger and there’s a hundred people fallin’ at his feet,” Ryan says through a mouthful.

“Nah,” Jamal waves a fork dismissively, “Haz fuckin’ looks at Eggsy like he’d like to have a picket fence and the two and a half kids if he could.”

Ryan grunts agreement reluctantly.  But he can’t refute Jamal’s statement.  It’s true that he gags a little at how sweet Harry is on Eggsy.

“And ‘sides, Eggsy’s got that posh job up at the tailor shop now,” Jamal points out.  “He’s technically posh now, too.”

“Still don’t think poshie’s givin’ Eggsy good in the bed,” Ryan mutters darkly.

“Just get off it, yeah?  I don’t need to know what Eggsy’s getting’.  Don’t wanna think about it neivver,” Jamal groans.

“Yeah, yeah, fine,” Ryan shovels another bite into his mouth. “So, how’s you and that bird from the bookshop doin’?”

***

“Fuckin’ shit, it’s cold,” Jamal grouses with his hands tucked into his armpits.  “Open the door already, will you?”

“Shut up, bruv, my fingers is froze,” Ryan snaps back.  He manages to get the key into the lock after a couple more tries and he pushes open the door to a wave of warmth.

They shuffle in noisily and Jamal tries to make an abrupt about face when confronted with the scene in the living room, running into Ryan.

“The fuck, man.  What you—”

“Harry, Harry, god, fuck, please, please,” Eggsy keens.  He’s on his back on the couch, thighs spread wide to make room for Harry, and his hands clenched tightly around the armrest behind his head.  A pink flush spreads blotchily across his cheeks and down his chest.  There’s evidence of multiple orgasms splattered across the span of his stomach.

“One more,” Harry purrs.  “You said you could, did you not?”

Eggsy sobs as Harry grinds in slowly.  His back arches up and he shoves his face into the shitty decorative pillow Jamal’s mum forced on them.

“My darling boy,” Harry murmurs affectionately.  “One more, there we go.”

He fits one hand against the rise of Eggsy’s right hip and runs his thumb against the crease of his thigh.

“Go, go, go,” Jamal hisses as Eggsy’s words start devolving into desperate noises.

“Goin’,” Ryan hisses back.  He turns and promptly knocks into the coat rack, which goes down with a surprisingly loud crash for how much clothing is on it.

Eggsy bolts up off the couch, his eyes unfocused as he tries to glare at them.  Harry, on the other hand, looks relatively put together, even if Ryan and Jamal can see the hints of exertion.

“Uh,” Ryan gives a sheepish wave, “hey, Eggsy.  We was just.”

“Leavin,” Jamal says with a nod.  “Came to get our keys.”

“Oh my god, I can’t do this,” Ryan moans abysmally.  “Eggsy, I fuckin’ sit on that couch.”

“I assure you, we clean it quite thoroughly,” Harry says primly.

Jamal wrinkles his nose, “Really, bruv?  I put my arse on a couch you two do the do on?”

“Just get the fuck out,” Eggsy manages to get out.  It ends in a whine as Harry shifts inside him.  “I’ll get a new fuckin’ couch.”

“Right, we out then,” Ryan says.  “Have fun.”

He fumbles their jackets into his arms and yanks Jamal out after him.  The door slams shut behind them and they stand in silence as they shuffle their coats on.

“So Haz is well fit then,” is what Jamal breaks the silence with.

“So Eggsy’s gettin’ it good then,” Ryan agrees.

“So we ain’t speakin’ of this ever again, yeah?”

“God, I need so much alcohol to forget this.”

“Pub then,” Jamal says firmly and steers Ryan away from their flat.

***

“Are you really going to get another couch?”

“Got to,” Eggsy mumbles.  He buries his face in Harry’s shoulder and blinks sleepily.

“Pity,” Harry says, “I was quite fond of this one.”

Eggsy peers up at Harry, “Yeah, cause ye fuck me on it basically every week.”

“Perhaps the next one will be just as nice.”

“Yeah, gonna get one with them nice plushy cushion things,” Eggsy says dreamily.  “Like the kind ye can sink into and not wanna move from for the rest of the day.”

“That might be difficult to contend with,” Harry points out.  “But suppose you do indeed get another couch.  What do you plan on doing with this one?”

“Mmm, dunno,” Eggsy admits.

“Perhaps,” Harry says nonchalantly, which is exactly what prompts Eggsy to sit up a bit.  Harry only ever sounds incredibly casual when he’s trying to play off something important.

“I could take it,” Harry continues.  “And you could, perhaps, on the off chance, come with it.”

“Why, Harry, ye askin’ me to move in with you?”

“Only if you want.”

“Ye fuck, ‘course I do,” Eggsy says and pulls him into a kiss.  “Always have done.”


End file.
